Hey Hyde Man, I need your help with something.. I don’t know how or where to start „,
I love this girl and we’ve been together for a long time , We became a couple two months ago. everything between us is great man, we love each other and we wanna live together for the rest of our lives , we share the same dreams.. And we even planned for our wedding and everything, We both wanna be together. But there’s something that makes me feel a bit worried , it actually bugs me , I was on some website called Twitter ,I was reading some of her old posts there and I saw some messages dedicated to someone who “as far as I know” used to be her friend„, This friend of her died a couple of months ago, Now I know losing someone is difficult I totally understand that,but .. what I read was ” I hoped a lot and I cried a lot , and now even though I am prevented from meeting you, I hope to see you and meet you in Heaven.”
She posted this on her page, And to be fair she posted it before we became a couple, I don’t know how should I feel .. I feel sad for her loss but, She said she wanted to meet him, and now she’s with me „ Man I realize that this happened before we became a couple But I just can’t LET GO. I wonder about a lot of things now .. Did she love him , what if she still love him ?„, She always says to me that she’s never been happier in her life but with me she feels alive. She always refers to me “Her Happiness.” she always reminds me she never loved anybody as much as she loved me and that she will never love anybody else because I was different… And I feel the same way and as I said we planned for everything, for our wedding, our lives , Everything .. But part of me just can’t let go what I just saw. I really love her man and I want her to be my wife , and to tell you the truth it’s my first time being in a relationship ” So it’s kinda like you and Jackie.” because I know that this girl is Different and we believe and trust each other, we wanna live together . I never doubt any of that, never doubted her love„ its just .. I don’t know what to do man. am I overreacting ? I don’t know what should I do. and I can’t even sleep now.
Man, you got a lot goin’ on there. Gotta say, “we’ve been together for a long time” and “we became a couple two months ago” seem like contradictions to me. Jackie and me were just startin’ to get to third base at our two-month mark. Took us a lot longer than that to get to know each other—all the things that freakin’ count—and we’d been toleratin’ each other in Forman’s basement for years before we ever swapped spit.
That bein’ said, maybe you and this chick got one of those deep-down connections like Forman and Donna, where you got that feelin’ of “forever”. But even Forman and Donna had a lot to learn about each other, after ten years of bein’ friends. Two months is the equivalent of a belch, man. You’re gonna find out a lot about each other as time goes on that you may or may not like.
Sounds like you already have.
Don’t know what a “webpage” is, and “twitter” sounds like somethin’ Fez does in his spare time. But what you described boils down to you snoopin’ in your girl’s diary. Forman did that to Donna once, and he ended up with a little yellow bird tattooed on his ass. You get half the story by readin’ your chick’s personal thoughts. You want the whole answer, you’re gonna have to admit what you saw and ask her what’s up.
If you approach her the wrong way, though, as if she’s done somethin’ wrong—which she hasn’t—she’ll be defensive and the trust between ya is gonna need some repairin’. Forman and Donna broke up ‘cause Forman couldn’t get over his insecurity and smothered Donna until she ran for the hills.
If you approach your girl by makin’ your insecurity about you—which it is—and tellin’ her you need some reassurance ‘cause this is “the first time [you’ve] been in a relationship,” then maybe she’ll be able to hear it.
Bottom line, man? You wanna spend the rest of your life with this girl? Slow freakin’ down. Everyone’s got shit, and relationships tend to bring it out. Mine got tangled the fuck up with Jackie’s, and I almost lost her for good ‘cause of it. Yours is startin’ to get tangled up with your chick’s. You gotta own it, man. Know where your lack of trust is really comin’ from—‘cause it motivated you to snoop in her diary in the first place—and take responsibility for it. Otherwise, “forever” may not happen.
I learned that lesson first-hand.